Fears over global warming came to an end last week as people around the world uniformly noticed the cold weather.
"Yeah, right," said global warming denial expert Flatts Terrace. "Global WARMing my ass. It was thirty degrees today!"
Well-known propagandist and inventor of global warming Al Gore reported feeling humbled.
"I just never thought people would piece it together. How was I supposed to know that winter was going to happen and just ruin everything! You'd have thought I would have accounted for that in the theory. I rue the day I trusted those climatologists!"
The revelation has spurred a relaxation of environmental law. A press release from Coal Solutions, inc. expressed relief that they were not warming the planet and laid out a schedule for dumping more carbon dioxide into the air than ever before.
"I can just imagine that fat sack of shit Gore building a snowman right now. How's that for just desserts! Next time you try some fancy scientific 'theory,' make sure your global prediction doesn't contradict my personal, anecdotal, and momentary experience! I'm Flatts Terrace, dammit! And there ain't no scientist knows better than me!"
Flatts Terrace is well known for his recent book, Global Warming? In My Day We Called it Summer!
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