Hollywood Legend Heath Ledger Dead

On January 22nd, 2008, Hollywood Legend Heath Ledger was found dead. He had died soon before he was found dead. It's in times of great tragedy such as these that we remember the immortal words of the dead Hollywood Legend Heath Ledger: "I take a lot of photos of people."

More than any other place, Hollywood bemoans the loss of Hollywood Legend Heath Ledger. I took a trip to Hollywood to see the how the top Hollywood personalities in the Hollywood movie business were dealing with this horrible Hollywood death.

Johnny Depp sat alone on the patio of his Hollywood mansion, looking towards the setting sun. "Sometimes death takes you," he said, "and sometimes... sometimes you take death." He lowered his sunglasses and took off his flowing button-down shirt. He raised an eyebrow and looked to the sky, dangling his sunglasses between his fingers.

"It's important to remember our brothers. I admire the work you do as a reporter, remembering such a great man." Johnny moved closer to me, his mouth falling down as his head rested on my shoulder, hot breath on my neck. "TIMMY! TIMMY!" he shouted, "bring me some rubbers. I am going to make love to this reporter."

"Yes, Mr. Depp," said Tim Burton, appearing from the shadows, wearing nothing but a dog collar, "of course Mr. Depp."

"You have been good today, Timmy. You may sleep at the foot of the bed tonight. Now go."

And so Johnny Depp took me in his arms and led me to the silk-draped sofa, where he lay me down and whispered in my ear: "Let me be offbeat... and eccentric... to you," punctuating each word with a kiss as passionate as Achilles. We spent the night in the throes of pure love.

My second day in Hollywood I had an interview scheduled with Steven Spielberg. I met him in his downtown office. His tone was serious.

"It's always hard when we lose such a man. You see, there's something about Hollywood Legend Heath Ledger. When we lose a man like Hollywood Legend Heath Ledger..." he began to choke up. "No, Steve, not now. You have to do this interview. For the fans." Spielberg flexed his toned body beneath the restrictive flannel shirt and cleared his throat. The door to his office opened and a somber woman came in.

"This is my casting director, Debra Zane," said Spielberg, "and it's women like her who are hurt the most. You see, sometimes when you're making a movie, you need... you need people to be in the movie."

"And when we lost Hollywood Legend Heath Ledger," said Zane, "it means that..." she looked away, quickly, not wanting to process the truth of the situation. "It means that you can't put him in your movie. You need to put someone else!"

"Oh Debra, hold me," cried Steve. The two fell into each other's arms and began a deep kiss. Hands roaming through hair and over bodies, their clothes fell to the ground one by one. I was unsure of what to do. Spielberg turned to me.

"Please, please stay and watch. I just need someone to watch me right now. Please."

I stayed there to support the director and his casting director in this time of need for us all. They turned from two beings into one, brought together by the throbbing motions of their bodies. Flashes of sweat and skin played against the light of the room as their gasps and cries portrayed two people in the highest orders of ecstasy.

As they collapsed into a heap of flesh on the ground, spent, Steven Spielberg turned to me. His face was strained, his brow furrowed. "Why, Hollywood Legend Heath Ledger? Why did you have to go?" It's the question which haunts us all.

That night found me at Kate Winslet's East Hollywood chalet. I found her despondent, laying supine in her boudoir. She turned to me, tears streaming down her face.

"Hollywood Legend... Heath Ledger..." she moaned. The despair was too much for her and she threw one wrist to her forehead. "Hollywood Legend Heath Ledger!" She cried into the night and I came closer to her to soothe her pain. "Hollywood Legend..." she grabbed me by the shirt, ripping it off with great fury, "... Heath Ledger."

I took her in my arms and assured her that everything would be all right. "Hollywood Legend Heath Ledger," she gasped into my chest. She pulled me on top of her. I could see that she wanted the pain to go away. All the hurt, and all the angst, those same feelings we all feel. For this moment she wanted them all to go away, and there was only one way to do that. She kissed me deeply, her arms wrapped around me. For that night she would escape her personal terror.

The night was magical, and we both felt the magical touch of love. The next morning she asked me to send over Johnny Depp if I saw him again.

All in all, I enjoyed my trip to Hollywood. I can't wait until the next celebrity death.