New Reed Myths

MG under the library? Ugh! That’s so lame it deserves an award – a Myth Award that doesn’t exist because it’s a myth because Reed doesn’t deserve it! Served! In order to attract top-notch students you need top-notch myths. Thankfully, we at The Pamphlette have uncovered these new, TOTALLY TRUE things that you should circulate.
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During a tour in the early 90s, Guns N’ Roses frontman Axl Rose visited the Reed library and learned how to read. Shortly afterwards, he realized that his name was a sentence, driving him to drink. Several years later the band split.

The bottom of the canyon is actually a two-inch layer of mud and bacteria. Underneath is an underground canyon. Under the underground canyon is another underground canyon, and underneath that is another college that is similar to Reed, but also underground.

Reed was not founded in 1908. Rather, Reed is an ancient Native American university. In the early 20th century the college “founder” enlisted William Foster, who had been a general in the Spanish-American War, to “clean out the dastardly red man so that we may rightfully scrounge our place upon these hallowed hills.” The name Reed is the Atfalati word for “awkward.”

Sometimes, people listen to KRRC.