Things Overheard on the Airplane

Two young girls behind me:
"Okay, but I get to be Jasmine."
"No, I get to be Jasmine."
"No, I want to be Jasmine."
"No!"
"No!"
"Mommmm"
"Yes hon?"
"I want to be Jasmine!"
"Well you're just going to have to both be Jasmine."
"But MOM there's only ONE JASMINE."

Two college students on my left:
"I once forgot my name."
"Whoa."
"It was pretty weird."

Adults in front of me and to the other side of the aisle:
"I just don't get where people are going with themselves."
"I know what you mean."
"Like with the whole celibacy thing. Do you know why Catholic priests are supposed to be celibate?"
"No, why?"
"You see, in the middle ages church positions used to be passed down from father to son. This created little pockets of loyalty to people BESIDES the church. The church didn't like that and so outlawed priests having kids."
"Wow."
"Really makes you think."
"I dunno, what does it really matter?"
"Uh, well..."

Two teenage girls several rows in front of me:
"Wait wait wait I gotta tell you about this."
"Okay tell me"
"So I was walking out the back of my house and suddenly I tripped on the last step and skinned my knee on the concrete out back there."
"Ouch"
"No wait wait I'm not there yet. So I look around and realize that there's nobody there right?"
"Right."
"So I'm like 'Oh my god, this is the perfect opportunity' and start going 'tsssssss-ahhhhh tssssss-ahhhhh tsssss-ahhhhh' ha ha ha ha!"
"Wait what?"
"You remember that Family Guy episode where, um, Peter gets the golden beer ticket and he's running home and"
"And then he FALLS OH MY GOD hahaha hahaaa"
"tssss-ahhhhh tsssss-ahhhhhh tssss-ahhhhh"
"Ha hahahaahaaa"

A group of friends several rows behind me:
"So you know, there is nothing dogs love more than cheese."
"Really?"
"Yeah, I just, like, throw a piece of cheese or wave it around and my dog goes NITS, uh, NUTS."
"Ha ha ha"
"It's really funny because sometimes I'll throw a piece of cheese, like, on a blanket and then cover her with the blanket, right? And she'll totally go after the cheese through the blanket. It's like her priorities are 1. get the cheese, 2. get out of the blanket and she can't get the cheese through the blanket so she just goes NUTS."
"Ha ha ha"
"Unless it's like an afghan or something with holes in it and then she'll like stick her nose through and eat the cheese through the blanket."
"Ha ha ha that's amazing."
"My dog just LOVES cheese."

Two strangers several rows in front of me:
"So what are you doing?"
"I'm working on my new rap."
"Oh."

The steward over the speaker:
"I would like to suggest that everyone SIT DOWN and BUCKLE UP. This is SERIOUS. If there is anything you are doing that needs you to be standing up I would suggest you FINISH IT and SIT DOWN NOW. We are going to be approaching some TURBULENCE and need you to SIT DOWN NOW and BUCKLE YOUR SEAT BELT. We need you to have your SEAT BELT BUCKLED and we WILL be coming around to CHECK that your seat belt is buckled. Do NOT make us find you with your seat belt UNBUCKLED. BUCKLE your SEAT BELT."

Two unidentified people as we were exiting the plane:
"It's a good thing we don't fly often."
"Yeah, I think our talking really annoyed some people."