- No time to watch movies? Just read the plot summary on Wikipedia! Just as good!
- Like music, but it's cutting into your study time? Play it at double speed!
- Cut your food shopping time in half by eating nothing but cured cabbage. It's the manna!
- Getting dressed in the morning? Just pick one pant leg! It's all you need.
- Internet too slow? Print out the whole thing beforehand for easy access!
- Takes too long to chew your cured cabbage? Just swallow it whole, then drink some extra stomach acid to help digest. Mmm-mm!
- Boyfriend/girlfriend wants all your time? Get them to cheat on you. Then you only have to deal with them half the time!
- Too much homework? Don't do it!
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